Monsters of Men
by NK9
Summary: It didn't' matter. She laughed. Whether she was dreaming, conscious of her fictionality, or a mental case—it didn't matter. The eager sensation of knowing. The thrill of manipulations. Observing the what ifs! Knowledge is power, and for once she had a lot of it. Empowering. Liberating. The circumstances made her tingle with pleasure. For once—she was excited. SI-OC
1. Chapter 1

**Monsters of Men**

 _Philosophy. The topic where people hear a few quotes, however out of context or distorted beyond comprehension they may be, and assume they understand someone's point of view. As examples Machiavelli never stated, "the end justifies the means". He stated that sometimes people need to take actions necessary for the better, even if they may be unethical, with hopes that the actions aren't forgiven but looked pass. Particularly in referencing overthrowing a tyrannical ruler. Also, Hobbes never claimed people were inherently evil. He was telling that humans will always be in conflict as they have clashing desires. It's the people who manipulate the text—to distort it—that made these men seem evil. Monsters are human, and human make the monsters._

— _Akari_

 **Chapter One: How it Started**

Reincarnation. I had never believed such things, so I never listened into the mechanisms of how it was supposed to happen. Yet, I was certain that rebirth was supposed to mean being reborn in the future, not be sent back to be born in 1982. Nevertheless, for all intents and purposes I was currently living under the name Akari Kujou.

I grew up with everything this life had to throw at me: my father murdered, mother committing suicide—leaving me behind, being sent to live with my aunt's family. Not to mention going to school again: some old content, some new, and other things that were embarrassingly easy but had been forgotten until that point. With effort, I had made it into To-Oh University and was currently in my third year.

There were days that I questioned whether my other life was ever real as more and more memories fade with time, replaced with my new life. Other days I was disassociated with my surroundings believing the person known as Akari to only be a lie—which ironically it was, in more ways than one.

I took a mouthful of rice in my mouth when my mobile phone rang. I groaned recognizing the ringtone trying to remind myself why I hadn't blocked the number yet.

Accepting the call, I pressed the phone against her ear. "Hi Auntie." I pinched the bridge of my nose as I listened. "I have classes." I frowned. "I understand. I'll go." I ended the call before groaning. Can't that woman do anything herself? The very least she could do is discipline Asahi. He's her child. But nooooo. Having a husband who is almost never home is apparently an excuse to not properly raise a child and dump his issues on me.

The rant was not anything new. It was becoming a more frequent occurrence with Asahi amidst his teen years who has had minimum supervision. But I should help him, shouldn't I? It wasn't his fault that his parents are rarely there for him. He could still be a major brat some days though.

I finished her meal before gathering her things and leaving campus.

* * *

Daigoku Private Academy. It was the same school that Auntie had sent me to when I attended high school. Honestly, it was a bit of surprise I hadn't had to revisit the place until now. Nearly eight whole months before Asahi created a commotion that warranted speaking to a guardian—granted a little over a month of that consist of summer vacation.

I navigated the hallways to the staff room. I lightly bowed when I entered the room. As expected, my younger cousin was sitting across from the principle. The principle seemed surprise that a young woman was here—considering Asahi's age it was a clear sign that I wasn't his mother. Asahi, on the other hand, grimaced and twisted his head to face away from me.

I reached the desk and bowed deeper this time. "I apologize for any trouble Asahi-kun has caused."

The principle closed his eyes and sighed. Clearly, I was the only one going to show up to deal with the issue at hand.

"Kitamura-san—"

"Her name is Akari Kujou." Asahi intervened in a hollow tone.

The principle looked to Asahi before returning to look at me for confirmation. His eyes sparked with recognition before she could respond. "Ah. Kujou-san. Akari Kujou! You attended here, yes?"

"I did. It flatters me that you remember." I smiled. I didn't care. Why would it matter if my former principal remembered me? Especially since he was the kind of man who liked to use students as trophies to popularize the school further while boasting himself as if the students' achievements were his own. Asahi was currently in trouble, though, and I could use this to my advantage. Hopefully to reduce his punishments or necessary reimbursements.

"I didn't recognize you at first. You've grown." Despite the good intentions I couldn't help but view the comment as a little creepy. "But you aren't someone who I can forget so easily. You were a good student. If only you hadn't entered so many competitions you may have even been able to rank first." I ranked eighth in my final year of high school. Compared to Takahashi-san who ranked first, I had higher participation—particularly in the district which, to the principle, is more advertising than Takahashi-san who only ever studied.

"I was content with my opportunities. Plus, I still managed to get into the school I wanted." I didn't care about my grades. All grade represented was how much an individual could remember specific content on a given date. It could not measure real understanding of any given subject. Not that there couldn't be a correlation between a grade and knowledge, just that correlation was not absolute nor the reasoning. School could also only teach so much at any given time. Many topics are skimmed over or skipped since they had to stick with the curriculum.

For example, history. They mainly teach dates and names or people and events while leaving out the details. What was the point of history if you could not analyse it? Histography and microhistory were highly interesting but rarely touched upon. Hmmm… to put it in perspective, many of my peers are still not aware as to why our neighbouring countries still harbour grudges even if borders had been reopened a little over a decade ago. Not that I think we should emulate Germany who constantly shame their students in history classes, but it shouldn't be an either-or issue.

"That's good. That's good."

Asahi scoffed. He was always grouchy whenever Saori or I were complemented or praised. Saori being his sister and my older cousin. Saori was their parents' pride. Even more so when she was hired at a law firm two years ago. Furthermore, when Uncle became a candidate for Deputy Directory for the National Police Agency, I was able to find (hack) information about the other candidate that wasn't good for his reputation. It was what cemented me into their family dynamics. In comparison this left Asahi as average, if not a troublemaker in comparison.

It really wasn't a surprise that he developed a temper.

"Forgive me, but may we move on to the issue with Asahi?"

"Kitamura-san has a history of disrupting classes. We've been issuing punishments and detentions, but his behaviour hasn't been changing." I looked to Asahi who only looked disinterested. "Disturbing classmates, quizzes and the use of vulgar language. We've noticed this trend with his transcripts. We believe that there may be some home issues that need to be resolved or at the very least we require that his parents help in the discipline," he said.

It now made sense that the principle wasn't demanding that his parents be there. Some parents would endlessly complain that they were being told how to raise their child—or take it as a personal attack as a parent.

"I don't need their help!" yelled Asahi.

He was right. It wasn't their help he needed. It was their attention that he _wanted_ , and to a degree attention would solve several things—but not everything. He wanted their attention but beyond that was his struggling inferiority complex. That wasn't an issue anyone else could resolve for him. Validation isn't a solution; it's a bandage. Something to temporarily cover the problem until it manifests in another way.

Honestly, his mother should be the one here dealing with him.

I certainly didn't want to.

I gently tapped the side of my hand against the top of his head. "You shouldn't misdirect your anger." He probably didn't even realize that he was misdirecting his anger. No. That undermines his ability to understand himself. To some degree he knew. However, emotions are a fickle thing. We don't even realize how much they blind us sometimes.

"Don't touch me." He swatted my hand away.

"We'll discuss this later. We shouldn't be bothering the principle with your personal problems. I know you know better." I bowed once more to the principle. From the corner of my eye I noticed that Asahi still sat with his arms crossed. I brought up a hand and forced his head down.

"Gah." He'll get over it.

"We apologize. I'll be sure to pass the message to his parents."

We tied up are chat. Asahi was sent back to class while I exited the building.

Walking on the path way I noticed a black notebook on the grass. Had someone dropped it? Forgotten it? Or maybe trying to throw it away? Considering that she was still on school property the probability was almost certainty. I picked it up.

Death Note. The words were in white on the cover. Death Note? I flipped through the pages. The first page noting some rules. That sounded familiar. Wasn't that a manga? The one with Kira versus L and Shinigami. Hmmm. Was it already beginning to be published? Merchandise then. Someone wouldn't be happy when they notice that they lost it.

Oops.

I accidently ripped the corner of a page. It wasn't really my problem. I could have just left it there if I wanted to. The owner shouldn't be surprised if they were reckless enough to leave their things laying about. Nevertheless, I tore it completely out. Going back and ripping the ridges that were still visible. Honestly, she could just imagine the meltdown the owner would have. People had the oddest attachments to the most trivial things.

I placed the book back down. It wasn't like I knew who to return it to.

With nowhere to dispose of the litter, I shoved the page into my bag.

Maybe I should go buy a copy since it's been released. I could vaguely remember some of the events but there was a lot I forgot. But I still remembered some so that must have said something about the quality of the story—at least in entertainment value.

I just passed the school gates when I received a call. I took my phone out. These were such bulky machines. Maybe I should just build a smaller one. But without the technology available it would be expensive making the pieces. As it was I already use most of my money on upgrading my computer. I guess I could make software to sell but that would come at a price. Increasing usability endorses the technology faster but it would then devalue my own skill set, and I quite having the advantage.

Staying with the computer is was.

I groaned. I would probably be 30 before a decent mobile, to my standards, came out.

"Hello."

"Akari! Are you busy?" The cheery tone was distinguishably Saori.

I wouldn't be able to make it back to the university in time for my last class so… "No, I'm free."

"That's great! Then let's meet in Harajuku."

"Now?" I blinked. Saori worked hard but on her time off she was a bit of a hedonist. I would never admit it aloud but Saori's hedonistic tendencies were something I admired.

"Yep. I'm finished work for the day and need some girl time. Mi-chan and Ro-chan are tied up with work, so you have to come."

So, I was her third choice. Not unexpected. She was a sociable person, but with all the unpaid overtime to stay on top of her work Saori had drifted off from several of her friends. Not to mention, after graduating there always ends up being people you don't talk to anymore.

Well here goes a good chunk of my money. It wasn't all bad. It was nice going out with others on occasion. Something to mix up the routine. Also, if I don't there is a good chance I'll be nagged at, and not by Saori but by Auntie Hinako.

"Sounds good. You want to meet up at that new café?" I received affirmation before heading to my destination.

* * *

It had been an enjoyable evening for the most part. They met up at the new café. Their lattes and cheesecake were good but the dango were average for its price.

Saori was adamant that I buy some new clothes to attract the men. It probably had something to do with the fact that she wanted some new clothes to attract men since it had been two months since she got dumped by her boyfriend of two years. Saori also paid for the two of us to have manicures and pedicures.

No matter how many times I got dragged out to do them, it was still an odd feeling. A mix of satisfaction that I could afford to have someone pamper me and unsettled that _someone_ was pampering _me._

We ended up taking a taxi home together in which Saori was trying to pry into my personal life. I didn't really think there was anything to dig up though. Nothing interesting. She didn't believe that though. I would even lie to her so Saori could have something to satisfy her curiosity. It wasn't just Saori. I would do that to anyone who tried to pry.

It was stupid how much I compulsively lied on the most mundane of topics simply because I never knew how to answer or believed they would think my answers stupid. That probably says more about me than them. To be fair, I struggled with small talk. I didn't see the purpose.

We paid the driver and approached the front door with our hands full of bags. We even bought a cake to share with the rest of the family.

When we opened the door, we were both surprised to see Uncle home. Saori being the daddy's girl that she was dropped her bags and ran to give him a hug. Except she had been holding the cake. Sure, this was probably the first time this week that I had seen Uncle Koreyoshi, but I was more concerned about the outcome of the cake.

A light, fluffy, vanilla cake, layered with fruit.

I opened the box to see the splatter mess. It was still edible. There hadn't been any doubt there, but the appearance was as delicate as a pie that had been smashed into someone's face.

"You're home, Uncle," I greeted. His job apparently stressful enough that most days that he did get out at a decent hour was spent drinking with colleagues.

Have I mentioned that Japan has an overworking problem? Because it does. Not that overworking your liver is going to magically solve that.

He finished hugging Saori, so I passed him the cake. "You chose I good night to come home. We have cake." Once the word cake escaped my lips, Saori raised her hands over her mouth in horror.

"Sorry, Dad. I may have wrecked it." She was instantly forgiven.

The rest of the night wasn't so relaxing. I told Uncle Koreyoshi and Auntie Hinako about my meeting with Asahi's principle. He looked betrayed that I told them. More so that I announced it with Saori there. He had it coming. I tried helping him before, but I am tired of being sent out by Auntie to solve discipline problems.

Then I passed Uncle the files he had asked me for. Once he officially became Deputy Director, he thoroughly went through a disciplinary stage for a more unified police force. Personally, I think he judge them too hardly on some of their past, but at the core he was attempting to rid anyone that could possibly put the police and the agency in a scandal. That's the government for you.

He would even pay me for doing background checks on new recruits. I never even needed to step foot in the office.

It was also the same reason that he never questioned (more than once) why I hadn't chosen computers as my subject of study. It was a waste of time as I wouldn't learn anything.

I finally excused myself to bed.

And I slept peacefully, despite it was then that it all started.

* * *

It was December 3rd. There had been several criminals reported to have had heart attacks. It wouldn't have been odd alone, but the scale and the locations were odd. It was eerie. I wasn't a medical expert, but this did seem odd. If it wasn't worldwide than I would have thought that someone was trying a new drug illegally on inmates. But no. Not everyone was an inmate. Merely decidedly a criminal.

I logged into my computer and went into the government records. I was stunned. All circumstances are never reported but this was ridiculous. I scrolled through the names.

For a moment I thought of Death Note. I even thought back to the one I picked up. No. It had to be a coincidence. It was ridiculous to think that… but since when did I believe in absolutes. If it's not impossible than it is only improbable.

Doubtful, yet still curious, I tried a different tactic. I searched the Japanese database for the name Yagami. The database showed twelve individuals. Two if narrowed the search by districts. One was an administrator for records and the other a chief. Chief Soichiro Yagami. Was that him? There were only a handful of names that she was certain of anymore and Soichiro wasn't one of them. The position seemed right, but she couldn't be sure.

Tsuki Yagami? Was that right? Light from Death Note had a weirdly spelt name. I'm pretty sure that the fandom fought over it for a while. It was the only reason I'm even questioning it. There was nothing I could do to be certain, though, besides maybe stalk the boy to see if Ryuk was around. But if it were true there would be a T.V. announcement soon with L, right? Then there isn't a need for so much for affirmation.

I could send a message though. If this was my mind convincing myself that this was a manga universe than it would be considered spam. If it was real, then perhaps I can get a reaction. But with a quick internet search it became evident that Kira fan sites were already established.

I created a new account. With my software it would take months to track. I found his address and sent a message:

 _Have you ever met Lind L. Tailor?_

Wait? Was that the decoy's name? This is why I find memory unreliable. The oddest knowledge sticks to you while you forget names who should have a place in your memory. There weren't exactly consequences if she was wrong but if it was it could be hilarious. This is why I have characters die in games. It's best to know every possible outcome and how one piece can change everything.

 _Have you ever met Lind L. Tailor?_

 _If you don't be careful, he'll be your first mistake._

I linger over the send button. I clench my eyes close as my forefinger presses the mouse.

Well that's done. No going back now.

I look outside where it looks ready to storm. Somehow, I don't think I will sleep well tonight.

* * *

"We interrupt your programming to bring you an important message from the ICPO. This is being broadcast all over the world. Japanese voiceover provided by translator Yoshio Anderson." The announcement gained Light's attention. "My name is Lind L. Tailor, widely known as 'L'".

Vaguely in the back of his head, Light recalled the odd message he received yesterday that he immediately dismissed and deleted.

 _Have you ever met Lind L. Tailor?_

 _If you don't be careful, he'll be your first mistake._

"Who is this guy?" Ryuk watched over Light's shoulder.

"To the perpetrator of these serial murders: you have committed the most abdominal act in history. I will personally catch the one behind it… "Kira" at any cost."

"At any costs?"

Light laughed. "How can you possibly catch me? It's all the notebook! If you don't have this, you have nothing on me! I cannot be caught. I was expecting the law to do something like this," he bragged. There was no way he could be caught. There was no evidence. Only a notebook. And he was the God of this new world.

"Kira I think I have a pretty good idea of what you're trying to do and why you're doing it. But what you're doing… is evil!"

"Me evil? I am justice!" Ranting, Light wrote down Lind. L. Tailor in the Death Note. He didn't even listen what the fool who dared cross him. Instead he counted down until L's inevitable death. He laughed with satisfaction as L clutched his chest and died.

Only it wasn't L. It was all a ruse.

 _Have you ever met Lind L. Tailor?_

 _If you don't be careful, he'll be your first mistake._

Light slammed his fists on his desk. No one could beat him. He was Light. He was a God. He would not be caught. Never! He had grown comfortable with his power and now that there was a semblance of threat he was hysterical. Invincibility shattered into a frenzied panic.

It was only a Japan wide broadcast.

His phone pinged with a message.

 _I warned you, didn't I? Lind L. Tailor was your first mistake. Will you make more?_

His grip turned white on his phone. Did L already know? No. If they did the police would be at the door. But there was no proof? Was he under suspicion? Was this person L too?

"I will destroy you!"

* * *

It didn't' matter. I laughed. Whether I was dreaming, conscious of my fictionality, or a mental case—it didn't matter. The eager sensation of knowing. The thrill of manipulations. Observing the what ifs! Knowledge is power, and for once I had a lot of it. Empowering. Liberating. The circumstances made me tingle with pleasure. For once—I was excited.

This was happening.

L.

Light.

I laughed.

This was "real".

* * *

 **Akari's Corner**

 **Hello. You know me as Akari Kujou. And no my name doesn't mean light. Though that would be irony wouldn't it? My name is spelt** **九条- Kujou meaning 9 and 丹李- Akari meaning Red Plum.**

 **Whose side am I on? My own of course. Aren't we all on are own side? If you aren't you should probably recheck your life choices. Even Misa who was willing to be used was on her own side you know. Besides, rather than sides don't you think their goals became second to their desires to face someone just like themselves.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Guest:** Thanks for the review! And I don't personally think it's a shame tactic, but I used it as a mixture of hyperbole and demonstration of differences to how subjects are taught. Since she has a negative connotation about education institutions her views get more polarizing whether she knows or not. Just like Japan does skim over information but all countries do depending what they want or think the future generation to know.

 **burritollie:** :D Yeah, childhood exploration can be nice sometimes but it also becomes the expected even though most of the time it can be skipped over since some only use it as character establishment mixed with some light comedy—in some cases defining events. There are a lot of times where I can infer personality and Death Note has a lot of analyzing from several perspectives so there's no real need for me to linger too long on character analysis.

* * *

 **Monsters of Men**

 _Program squabbles—annoying yet never ending. Arguing over prestige, ability, and usability as if some fields are gold mines while others are disposable. It is especially annoying when those in the science fields mock the rest or attempt to argue that social sciences are not a science. As if they believe their own knowledge to be a complete essence. For humans, all knowledge is self-correcting. Whether you believe the circumstantial evidence of rationalism or the faulty conclusions of empiricism, it is still egoism to believe that you or your generation is incorrigible. Yet, it is this uncertainty that causes further divide between people. For who can you trust when everything is questionable?_

— _Akari_

 **Chapter Two: Winter's Suspicions**

I stretched my hands far above the head before lowering them to my shoulders and stretching them horizontally. I slid down my seat as I sighed staring at the monitor filled with scripting. Working on it for a good portion of the night only to return to it first thing in the morning. The good thing was after I finished one I could copy the scripting and change a few of the print functions and imaging. I would also need to change the tags. Despite being almost done it would still easily take a few more hours.

It was a Kira fan site and L fan site. I would hardly be the first one, but I wasn't interested in the responses. If I wanted something as useless as that I would go to one of the other dozens of fan sites or chats. It was the cookies and pixel tracking that I really wanted. It was completely legal too.

All I was really doing was taking the ideas from the other fan sites and merging them into one. A home screen with a brief description about the individual. Another screen for a live chat thread where users can comment "anonymously", a screen for individualized chat threads, and another screen that compiles articles with the associated tags (tailored to the individual) so it would be a one stop search eliminating the need for people to scroll through hundred of links to find anything new.

I momentarily stopped to think about the torn piece of paper I had, curious as to whether it was really a piece of the Death Note. I had almost forgotten about it at first, not thinking anything of it at the time. Logically, if Kira was a current issue and L made his broadcast then it would imply that Death Note was not a manga here. The clear conclusion was that the piece of paper did have the abilities to kill people. It just felt… too surreal.

I would admit that there was a spark of temptation. Curious of its power. Yet it remained blank. It wasn't as if I cared about the criminals that Kira killed. Not on a personal level. I didn't know them. They weren't faces that I recognized. It's like when there are articles of incidents far abroad in a place you've never heard of before. It isn't as if you don't care about the act. There's just no connection beyond being of the same species.

Whether people kept dying or not. Did I care? I couldn't honestly say yes. People died every day. Some of accidents. Some of old age. Some self-inflicted. Some by homicide. It's hard to care for every individual.

It wasn't even vindictiveness against the criminals.

It was just…apathy.

I didn't have a particular reason for the sheet of the Death Note but I kept it nonetheless. I may need it for insurance.

But if it was a piece of the Death Note, I should be able to see Ryuk. I smiled. That could be fun. How would he look in person? Horrific? Would I laugh and not take him seriously?

I should probably bring some apples. He should be a neutral watcher, but it never hurt to stay off a Shinigami's bad side.

Some may think me odd for wanting to see a Shinigami, but it wasn't like I was ever going to get another chance to see one.

* * *

Light was waiting for L's next move. It was only a matter of time before he heard it—whether it be through his dad or if he had to find it in the national records himself.

He couldn't relax, though. With his brief time off he needed to track back the anonymous messenger. If it was L then Light may possibly be able to gain access to his other files. There was a small chance that this so-called L would be stupid enough to give Light access to files containing his name. Unless it was a trap to confirm that Light had something to gain by finding the messenger. Could that be used as circumstantial evidence? But no. Even L didn't know about the notebook. L was still stuck as to how Kira was killing. That was one of the purposes of his broadcast announcement.

Light did not want to cross off completely that the sender was L, but there was a greater chance that it was someone else rather and L. It only caused him to be more furious and his fingers pounded on the keys, momentarily stopping to click a few links with his mouse, before returning to trying.

Light's jaw clenched and glared at the screen.

"What are you doing?" interjected Ryuk looking over Light's shoulder at the screen. Light was staring intently and Ryuk could almost feel the hostility with his body language. It was all very amusing.

"Somebody knows too much."

"Heh heh heh. That isn't good for you, but despite your frustration you don't seem scared."

"The fact the police aren't here is indication that either this person doesn't know I'm Kira but someone who was aware of the broadcast and is waiting for a reaction from a mass e-mail." If this was the scenario then Light shouldn't be searching for the individual as it would be seen as the bait. However, if this were true then the message could have potentially sabotaged L's confrontation with Kira. L would have needed national permission to broadcast so he wouldn't have wasted their relations with the chance of sabotage.

"However, it's more likely that someone knows about the Death Note and that I have it." No matter how ridiculous it sounded, even to himself. The Death Note left no track. A notebook wouldn't be any proof. At best it would demonstrate that he was following the Kira case. But how did they know? A classmate? Someone who went to school with him? The Death Note had just been laying on school property. Put that person would have had to believe that the Death Note was real. And why hadn't they taken it for themselves? No but if they didn't take it, that person shouldn't have still been around to see who had taken it.

And that still didn't answer how they knew Lind. L. Tailor would be used as a scapegoat. His father was a Chief. They would have to have relations higher than his own dad.

There was something he was missing. It frustrated him to no end that there was an unknown variable that could very well intervene with his plans.

But also… if someone did know he possessed the Death Note, there had been no other communication aside from those two messages, so they weren't actively searching for his attention at the moment. But the fact they hadn't notified the authorities also contained a spark of hope. No. Hope implied that he had nothing but faith to rely on. It would be more accurate to say this person may be to his advantage. Either way, someone else knowing was more than an obstacle than an advantage. They were more liable to let information slip.

Light's shoulders lowered as he sat straighter. This was it. He had finally gotten it.

His eyes gleamed only to go round.

This was…

A twinkling, dancing panda with a giant visible heart cheered. "Congratulations!" The pink heart exploded into confetti as it fell, presumably dead. Only for the gif to repeat.

When he discovered who was messing with him, criminal or not, they were dead.

* * *

It was time that L made his next move. Kira would most likely be in the police force or someone related. It needed to be someone who had access to police information, so he made a call to the Japanese National Police Agency with the voice changer prepared.

Without missing a beat, when the Deputy Director answered his phone he spoke, "Yes, I want you to thoroughly and secretly investigate the Japanese Police—especially those connected to the Kira case."

Deputy Director Koreyoshi Kitamura eyes blazed as his arm, and by extension fist, slammed down onto his desk. "L, are you saying Kira is one of the investigators?" This was an insult. Since he came into power this was exactly what Koreyoshi wanted to avoid. Scandals were for the weak. For those who couldn't follow protocols. That was not him. He had even hired his niece to confirm the home life, habits, and personalities of his men. There were few that needed to be checked on occasion. Those who prefer their lives over others, and those who would do well as long as they weren't given a supervising position—but a serial killer!

With L suspecting the police force it also meant that he was also a suspect. Him!

"Definitely." L only ever spoke when he thought something needed to be said. L never filled them in on the process only on the conclusions he has come to and how L needed _his_ men to aide him.

"But we're already swamped… Kira's already killed 327 American felons. That's the most of any country by a huge amount." If they were to go by the numbers than other nationalities should also be scrutinize. Yet L didn't respond. Koreyoshi knew just as well. There may be more victims elsewhere but that doesn't disregard that there was also a possible the killer could be Japanese. Still, the chance of one of his workers possessing the skills to commit the crimes Kira was committing were slim. The investigation shouldn't take long and then it would put his men in the clear. There was no use fighting. Quite the opposite. Fighting would only bring more eyes onto the Japanese Police Force. If that were to happen his job would be at risk—whether he was actually responsible or not. "A-Alright. We'll do it."

"Thank you. For the reputation of the FBI, I'm sure you'll do your best." L canceled the call. With the NPF's approval for an internal investigation he too could send men to investigate the families. Among the 141 families was Kira.

* * *

With the weekend over, it was back to University for me.

"Kujou-san!"

Huh? That voice was… I stopped walking to look back towards the voice. It was a fellow student. Six centimeters shorter than me with semi-curly hair and large rectangle glasses.

"Good Morning Masato-kun."

Ryugi Masato. He was a second-year pharmaceutical student. He was someone who articulated poorly when attempting to converse with others his age. He never told me the details, but it probably had to do with the fact he had to be hospitalized on and off as a child. He told me he was better now but even at the age of twenty he had problems chatting to others his age. While he didn't share everything, he was honest to a fault when he did. He was the kind of person who would probably believe everything a stranger told him.

People like that needed to get a clue.

He was pitiable.

And pity remained the reason why she would talk to him.

It probably sounds horrible. I can't help but pity people like him. He would likely be used and wouldn't even notice it. I detest people like that. People who wouldn't stand up for themselves. Who didn't know they needed to stand up for themselves.

I get frustrated on their behalf.

Hence, I find them pitiful.

I remain conflicted whether I despise people like Masato or I despise the fact that I like their traits but will continue to see them be walked over.

The one thing I was certain of, was I hated the effect my emotions had on me when I witness someone who was pitiful or had fearful desperation. When I sympathized with either I knew I was trapping myself to my own misery. Like now.

Masato smiled at me brightly as if it would be a good day. It was just school though. It would be just like any other day.

"Did you ah do anything over the um weekend?" he asked as we walked ahead through campus.

"I wish. I was studying all weekend." I had barely spent two hours. The remainder of my time was spent with collecting information and deciding what to do. It's been two weeks since the public announcement, but how was I supposed to watch L and Kira. If I didn't do anything, then eventually they would vanish from the map and I wouldn't be able to find them. Trust me when I secretly admit that I was egotistical enough to think I would even be able to find L's network. I haven't. I had an algorithm making algorithms and still nothing. I had gotten ahead of myself.

Uncle Koreyoshi had been muttering at home that the police force was being investigated.

It had reminded her that Light would be followed and would kill the agent. Another name she couldn't remember, but she sent another message to Light anyhow. _Are you going to kill the person following you too?_

More importantly, it meant my family was being watched too. What would it look like if my habits suddenly changed now? Was someone watching now too? I wasn't Kira, but it was eerie not knowing who or when someone was watching you. It would also be a horrible idea to go near the Yagami house when he would be under suspicion by L. I wanted to be near, but I do not think I would react well if I were to become a suspected accomplice. With their egocentric personalities would there be any other way to get near them without appearing to be suspicious in some way?

"You shouldn't always work too hard, Kujou-san."

"Thank you for the concern, but I promise I'm fine." A small, tender smile is all it takes for Masato to stop openly worrying. "What about you? Did you do anything fun?"

"That's uh.." he fidgeted with his fingers.

"Ohh. What's this? Did you get yourself a girlfriend?" I tilted my head with a grin.

He meekly raised his hands up in front of his chest. His cheeks flushed. "N-not at all!"

"You sound like you don't want a girlfriend." I gently pat my fist into the palm of my hand. "Oh sorry. Now I get it."

"Y-You do?"

"Yep. You got yourself a boyfriend."

He sputtered. Incoherent as he tried to rebuke but clearly didn't even know how to. He slowly exhaled when he calmed his jittery nerves. "I saw my dad."

"Your mom's first husband?" He nodded.

"Yeah. He's looking better. Sober too. Um. A year now. We had lunch together."

"Was it fun?

"Yeah. But um. Mom wasn't very happy when she found out." He looked down. In many ways his mannerisms were still childlike.

I didn't know what to say. I continued saying short sentences urging Masato to speak or saying things that would provoke more from him. What else was I supposed to say? "But you enjoyed it right? As long as it makes you happy you shouldn't feel ashamed of it." The truth slipped passed my lips. One of those beliefs that you believe but rarely act upon. Society didn't want or need you to be individualistic. Society needed you to be a cog in a machine. Happiness wasn't a trait necessary. It was a desire. People would also encourage others to do what they want. To chase happiness. Most don't believe such things. They want to remain stagnant. That your role remains the same within their life.

Masato grimaced. Perhaps the divorce hadn't ended well?

"Seriously, Masato-kun. You don't need to wait for validation. Your life is your own. You do not need permission." It was irritable. He was waiting around wanting permission from his mother. He was twenty, officially an adult. Not even the legalities of child custody could hold him back from doing whatever her wanted to do now.

He stared. I couldn't tell what he was thinking when he stared like that. "I'll try." The words were barely chocked out. "Um. I'll go now. Uh. See you, Kujou-san."

I was left alone as others walked into buildings in pairs and groups. I wasn't lonely but… sometimes I wondered what it was like to live on the other side. Checking the time, I picked up my pace to make in to class on time.

* * *

I hadn't gone to stalk the Yagami household. It was probably a good thing since Light had apparently killed both his stalker and 11 other FBI agents. I would be surprised if L could convince the FBI to lend him any more of their men. It meant that L would probably be relying on the Japanese Police Force next composed of people he believes he can trust based on the observations he had been able to gather.

I worried as I stared at the chair Uncle Koreyoshi would sit in when he was home. He would have had to have known that FBI agents were in Japan. It would have broken so many laws otherwise as well as cause diplomatic problems between the two countries. Hopefully. L didn't necessarily play by the rules, but I hoped the FBI would.

Auntie Hinako had been looking more stressed in the past few weeks. I couldn't blame her. The past few weeks felt as if months had gone by. Bitter as she was, I still didn't want to see her suffer. Or anyone really. That's probably why the Death Note didn't bother me so much. The killings were more or less instantaneous. No excess pain. Just death.

I could have extended my hand to her. Say it would be over soon. Offer comfort for her husband who could be a target because of his position. But I didn't.

I never did.

Hinako was often a bitter woman lost in her own life. More so now that her daughter was grown and home much less. I understood to some degree. Her husband spent most of his time at work. Her sister had committed suicide and she hadn't even known the despair she had been in. By the time Saori began working her attention would have probably clung to Asahi but he had already begun to build a temper from being neglected.

Just because I could vaguely understand her emotions didn't mean I had to agree with the way she acts or like her. Perhaps her New Year resolution should find life again.

A knock echoed through the house.

"I'll get it!" Saori shouted from another room. Probably watching a drama. It was almost a ritual for her to watch a depressing romance as if that motivated her to go back out and find a new boyfriend.

It was quiet, and I assumed it was sales person. I was proved wrong when Saori's cry echoed through the house. I could even picture her placing her hands over her mouth. An accustomed habit anytime she does something she believes she shouldn't have done.

Hinako and I raced to the front door. Even Asahi who had been hiding in his room was peeking down the stairwell.

At the front door stood a tall man. Easily over 180cm. He had a stern look and blank eyes. Black gelled hair and wore a formal suit.

Saori turns around to face us. "Mom, he says he's L."

I didn't care for my Mom's tenseness. My eyes roamed the man up and down many times.

This couldn't be L.

He was much to tall. His shoulders were broad, and he looked fit. Like someone who was use to active duty. There were no bags and he stood tall.

Not a quirk in sight.

L is someone who spends a ridiculous amount of time in front of screens. Didn't leave buildings much either considering no one is supposed to know what he looks like. Even if I presume he's at least learn to fight a bit in case of unforeseen events or emergencies, it didn't make sense for L to be bulky.

As an insomniac it didn't make sense that the man was clean-pressed and had a refreshed look.

And his clothes. L isn't the type of person to care for his appearance. This man was too groomed to be L.

I don't know who this man is, but he certainly isn't L.

And no way am I letting a stranger in our home.

I reacted faster than Auntie. I shoved past Saori and grasped the door handle. "You're not L. Please leave." I closed the door in his face then locked it. Turning back the rest of my family looked at me incredulity believing I just slammed the door closed in L's face.

* * *

 **AKARI'S CORNER**

 **Sometimes I wish I had the manga in front of me. It would allow me to plan much better. For example, I wouldn't have just slammed the door on the man's face if I knew he was ordered by L to pretend he was him. A certain Kanzo Mogi.** **But other times I think it's actually better this way. When one presumes to know what happen they become short-sighted believing there is only one way. But people are not stagnant. They learn and adapt to their environment.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Monsters of Men**

 _Being a hypocrite doesn't immediately make you wrong just as the charismatic and the articulate are not automatically right. We attribute traits to people as if they are stagnant; as if an isolated trait is determinant of an individual. It is why some people are popularized on a pedestal while others are ignored or actively pushed down. Why they defend them unquestionably in the future, right or wrong, as if all other statements are illegitimate if they are ever publicly seen as incorrect. If perfection is what people wish to admire than people should not be admired, rather only the traits they possess that accentuate. If you wish to admire individuals, then it must be noted that they possess flaws that you cannot excuse, yet still deserve to be revered._

— _Akari_

 **Chapter Three: Surveillance**

 **Four Days Ago:**

"Please install hidden cameras and electronic bugs in all of their homes." The five police detectives who were still willing to chase Kira were up on their feet. Their mouths quick to open in protest and lecture L on the legalities of what he was asking for them to do. "Do you value your jobs over human lives?" They silenced immediately. The weight of the words calming them for a moment of consideration.

For L it was a no-brainer. He had the technology available to him to spy on the families that Raye Penber had been investigating. He was almost certain there was a connection between the two. It could have been passed off as circumstantial evidence but with Penber's fiancée dead too…there was something more going on than he could currently see.

"Who was Penber investigating at the time?" Chief Yagami asked.

Matsuda scrambled through a piled of papers in search of Penber's duties. His mouth opened unable to believe his eyes. Of all families, why those two? It couldn't be them. Matsuda had faith in the legal system. For either of these two to be involved would crumble his vison of the police force.

To fill the silence, L answered. "Deputy Director Kitamura's family and Chief Yagami's family. Then please install cameras and electronic bugs in these two households."

Perhaps the legalities of spying came to the forefront of their minds or maybe it was the fact that it was their superiors being questioned, but they once again try to shut down the idea.

Soichiro Yagami's expression tighten yet stood tall. "Ryuzaki, what is the chance that Kira is actually in one of these families?" It was a normal reaction to look nervous. Having him and his family as suspects was sure to be a personal attack against the man.

"…10 percent. No, more like 5 percent." Five percent wasn't much as far as statistics were concerned. However, where deductive abilities were involved it was a large percentage. A lead that could easily increase the probability if even one thing was out of place. Contradictory, the five percent was linked to the fact that they were linked to Raye Penber and by extension Naomi Misora. Just as five percent could easily be increased, it could be reduced to zero fast if the lead led to nothing. Still, 5 percent was currently more than anyone else in the world and their only lead. Even if it were to be proven wrong they needed to be examined. No. L wasn't wrong. He refused to be wrong. There had to be a sign. Anything.

"And even now we still don't have a suspect. Even if the odds were one percent, we still have to investigate thoroughly." He was hesitant to admit it but Chief Yagami's resolve was admirable. It would make it easier through this process.

They reasoned among themselves, but it didn't matter. L wasn't asking for permission. Whether they agreed or not, surveillance on the two families were going to happen.

L and Yagami would monitor the Yagami household as it would allow for the officer the most comfort. Kanzo Mogi volunteered to return to headquarters to work, Ukita volunteered to rewatch the Penber video in hopes of finding more clues which left Matsuda and Aizawa to keep surveillance on the Kitamura family.

"We will watch the families for seven days. Depending on how things go, we may stop early. When surveillance is finished, inform the families. Leave no equipment either. Do you all understand?"

* * *

"You're home early." Again.

Saori was sprawled on the couch watching television. "Thanks to Kira I am finally not forced to live in the office. Or court for that matter." It made sense, I thought. Saori was a prosecutor. With less major criminals her work would have seriously decreased. "Maybe I should apply to become a public prosecutor. The pay is less, and they have more work but at this rate my job will be almost nonexistent. I didn't study forever for this."

It was the first time that my cousin mentioned the Kira investigation. She worked in legalities, so I doubted that she didn't have an opinion, but I never bothered to ask. "Is that supposed to be gratitude or a complaint for Kira?"

Saori shifted her position when I leaned against the couch arm. "I'm not going to turn down a vacation, but I worry about Dad. Kira has killed officers trying to catch him. That makes dad a target. He's been grumpier too because of it."

"What if Uncle Koreyoshi stopped the investigation? What would you think then?"

There wasn't even pause. Saori's eyes finally left the drama and turned to look me in the eye. "Killing is wrong." If she had approved of murder I would have questioned her field of expertise. "So, Kira's actions are wrong, but I…" She bit her lip, her nose and eyebrows scrunched. She looked up at me before looking back down. She looked back up to me once more deciding to finish what she was saying, though, I already had a guess as to what she would say. How many times is 'but' used to make an exception to one's beliefs. "I don't approve of crime. If someone doesn't like the laws, then they should find somewhere they are willing to follow the laws. But I'm happy people fear Kira. Their fear has reduced crimes drastically. Less people getting hurt would be worth my job any day."

It was a striking difference that I noticed between Saori and Uncle Koreyoshi. It was unusual because I would normally see their similarities. Sure, they both would rather distance themselves away from Kira, disapproved Kira's methods while caring more about the action than the people. Yet Saori stated at me with glistening eyes as she put people's lives before her job. I couldn't say the same for Uncle. I had little doubt that he would prefer his job. I could even imagine what he would say 'There will always be crime'.

I wish she would stop looking at me that way. I have little doubt that she has come to accept me not only as family but as a friend, yet when she looks at me like that I couldn't help but feel like she thought I was a little, sad, lost child alone in the world. It was just like… It was just like how I treated Masato. My chest constricted, and my stomach churned.

I didn't need to be pitied.

I wasn't so vulnerable that I needed pity.

* * *

Aizawa wished he could have been working with someone else. Anyone else for that matter. Matsuda's short career history was no excuse for his immature behaviour. He was glad they were on shift work. Their shifts overlapped for four hours each day. It was horrendously long, and the only real benefit was it was only four hours and not his entire shift.

"Don't take your eyes off the screens." Aizawa instructed as he grabbed the laptop that was issued by Watari and opened it.

"Should we really be doing this. It feels wrong," said Matsuda eyeing the Director's daughter watching television. Matsuda was following orders, but he was meek—uncertain. It probably didn't help that he was without a girlfriend, probably never had those sort of relations, and three women lived in the house.

Aizawa opened the file sent to him from Mogi who had been compiling information of everyone in both households.

This was the one time he would admit to agreeing with Matsuda—granted never aloud. "Chief gave the okay. Besides, L would have done this with or without us. We may as well be the extra eyes in hope that we won't have to do this on anyone else."

Matsuda shifted in in his chair. His eyes shifting from one screen to another. Kitamura's son was in his room, blaring music through his headphones while drawing in marker over magazine images. Kitamura's wife was out buying groceries. Kitamura, himself, was at work. And the girl… That's strange. Didn't Kitamura only have two children.

"Aizawa-san."

"What is it Matsuda?" It almost came out as a growl as he skimmed over the information.

"I thought Director Kitamura only has two children."

"He does."

"Then who is she?" The woman had some similar features as Saori. Both had long black hair, a long face, and broad shoulders. There was a familial resemblance, but they were not sisters—yet they lived under one roof.

Aizawa keyed the search for the individual of interest before passing the laptop to Matsuda. In return, Aizawa stared to the screens in replacement. "Akari Kujou. She's his niece."

Matsuda looked at the brief file. A brief page of general information such as her name and school. Basic get-to-know-you stuff. The next page was a list of community recorded achievements and activities. It was a long list and Matsuda was impressed on all the activities. She must have been diverse! With a praise, Aizawa doubted that Matsuda realized that each activity, each contest, was ever only participated in once. The next page was of a murder of a foreigner.

Apparently, the foreigner was Akari's father. A desperate man had attempted to rob a bank. With the police outside the building, the man had began shooting yelling that if he was going down they were too with him. The incident caused two deaths, four casualties, and plenty more traumatized people. Akari had been eight at the time.

The fourth page reported a suicide. Thirty-six-year-old Ryoko Kujou committed suicide, presumably from chronic depression triggered by her husband's death and having to raise a child on her own. The local authorities were notified by her neighbour after twelve-year-old Akari Kujou had come knocking on his door asking what to do.

Matsuda looked back at the screen of Akari's bedroom. She had gone through all that, but she was… eating an overflowing bag of apples reading a foreign book—the print too small to make out the title.

* * *

Why did Light have to and kill all those officers? I even taunted him. The FBI agent following him would have been less of a hassle since it L will try and make a connection. Granted, it would have meant that he had 12 FBI agents to hide from in the future. Neither sounded desirable, but I didn't care about that.

I had finally decided what I wanted to do. Two things. One: I wanted to meet Ryuk both as a desire to meet a Shinigami, and to ask him a question—observer to observer. Two: I needed to figure out a way to observe L and Kira since it didn't look like I could hack into L's system and just monitor them from his own security. A shame.

With Light attempting to paint a target on himself, I didn't want to get to close. With the case still relatively new it would probably be a bad idea to be in contact with Light. The worst part is I had even bought a bag full of apples just for Ryuk who I could no longer safely visit, so I would have to eat them all. I complain but I adore fruit—both fresh and artificial flavouring, and they were even Ambrosia and Honey Crisp—my favourites.

With my plans for evening ruined, I opened _Monatshefte für Mathematik_ and skipped over the pages until I reached _Über formal unentscheidbare Sätze der Principia Mathematica und verwandter Systeme I_ by Kurt Friedrich Gödel.

What a fun weekend.

Me, apples, and mathematical theory.

Five apples later I had finished reading the excerpt.

Not currently caring about the rest of the rest of the journal, I thought a better way to spend my evening. I left my room walking to the end of the hall to the last door on the left. I knocked but as expected I didn't receive a response.

I turn the knob to open the door enough to peak in. I wonder how long it would take for Asahi to notice me this time. I stood there.

And stood there.

Maybe I should have brought an apple to throw at him.

His headphones were loud enough that I could hear the beat from across the room—not that it was a very large room. At this rate he would become deaf by mid-life. I finally gave up, walked over, and picked up his magazine he was scribbling on.

"Hey!" The sudden jolt knocked his headphones off.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Are you so desperate for attention that you had to barge into my room?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Instead of doodling on…" I looked to the magazine. It was filled with idols I couldn't recognize, not that was a hard accomplishment. "idols. Let's make dorayaki balls." It was his favourite desert.

"Just make them yourself."

"For you to eat them all?" Asahi blushed recounting the time when he had eating them all. No, he shouldn't be embarrassed. He made them! Him!

"Like I would want anything made by you!" He reached out to grab his magazine, but I took a step making him miss. Sorry Asahi but the sweet aroma of dorayaki was currently tempting, and with Auntie out of the house it was the perfect opportunity to make them.

"And that is exactly why you'll help me. You wouldn't want to eat my version again." I think his skin paled slightly at the thought of my baking. That was mean.

"You're right. You gather the ingredients and I'll do the rest. Scratch that. Don't step into the kitchen and I'll make them myself." He brushed past me towards the kitchen. I rushed after him. He may be the only one besides Auntie who _likes_ to bake in this house, but I wasn't _that_ useless.

In the end I was allowed into the kitchen but could only help under his rules. It was fine by me. His food is better.

* * *

We had dinner as a family. Uncle was rather silent. It was probably something work related but confidential if he was being this quiet. That or he was questioning a decision he made but those occasions were rare.

The news played in the background. Uncle decided to watch it more often. He wasn't jumpy per se, but his eyes often wandered back to the screen despite being able to hear the commentary. Auntie Hinako wasn't very pleased as time spent apart was ever increasing.

The news topic changed to a NKK Special News Report. In effort to capture Kira, the ICPO has ordered 1500 investigators from around the world to work in Japan.

Uncle diverted his gaze from the television. He hadn't seen happy. He looked somewhere between dejected and acceptance. Had this something to do with the FBI agents being killed? But something was off.

"That's a lot of people," Saori frowned before shoving more food in her mouth. "Do you think they are trying to overwhelm Kira?"

"Probably," Asahi mumbled.

"Speak after you chew," reprimanded Auntie Hinako who looked thrilled at the prospect of Kira being caught.

"It sounds like another set up." I finally decided to add my input. "Anything concerning the Kira case is never announced unless another criminal is found dead by suspicious causes. No one knows how Kira kills so there hasn't been any reporting on the progress of catching Kira. The only possible way this wasn't a set up is if this is their attempt to calm the public, but even that would backfire when Kira rebuttals." When not if. Because if it is true than Kira will kill the agents and maybe some more just to prove a point. All of them if possible. If it isn't true as I guess, then Kira will continue killing as he currently is. "Either idiots oversee the ICPO or this is a set up." Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised by either. Leaders aren't necessarily chosen for their intellect. Something about this was familiar though. I wasn't quite sure why, but I had a sudden urge for potato chips. I didn't like potato chips.

* * *

"Ryuzaki," said Watari entering the room with a sheet in hand.

"What is it Watari?" L's eyes never gazed away from the screens displaying the Yagami family.

"The Bribery and Robbery suspect on the 9 o'clock news have both died in their holding cells." Watari lowered the page after relaying the information.

Soichiro was quick to exclaim that it was an act by Kira. Quick to reaffirm that his family had no dealing with a murderer.

"The women were the only ones to watch the news at the Kitamura's."

L contemplated the scenario. No one in the Yagami home had been watching the news. The girls had been watching a drama with the son studying the entire time. They couldn't have done it. Still, something was nagging him that something wasn't right despite all pieces indicating the Yagami household was normal. That was it, wasn't it? It wasn't just that they were too normal. It all seemed too good. Too…planned.

Then there was the information Aizawa and Matsuda had been able to observe. This home was more…dysfunctional—in a humanistic sense.

L has doubts, but it was too convenient. Koreyoshi Kitamura had passed off the file of the twelve FBI agents to four of his agents with the specifications to pass it on to the others. Who encompassed as "others" he didn't know. After which Kitamura stated that he wanted to call off the Japanese investigation. Some of Kitamura's traits aligned with Kira's profile but he was almost too open to it. It wasn't deceptive, so it was hard to believe that he was Kira.

Kitamura's daughter possessed many similar traits to his father. An ego big enough and an interest in justice. She had also backhandedly admitted that she could look past Kira's crimes. She also stated that she hated killers, but egoism can work that way. To presume that carrying evil—to become evil to fulfill justice was a necessary burden that someone must bare. She also watched the news as pretty criminals were convicted. Still, there was no sign of doing anything.

That was the main problem. Without knowing how Kira was killing, he was limited on where to look. If Kira truly only needed a name and face—possessed some supernatural power—than that would be truly horrifying.

Asahi was apparently going through a teen angst phase, as Aizawa put it. Stays reclusive to himself unless he gets dragged into things.

Hinako would flip back and forth between cursing Kira for taking her husband away from her even more and ecstatic that her daughter was home so much more. Apparently, her husband hadn't told her that he had ended his personal ties to the Kira case. She had also watched the news.

Finally, there was Akari. With her father murdered, she could have motive. Yet L always thought of Kira as someone who never faced adversity. His own logic turns on him when previous police reports indicating that Akari's emotions were never seemingly changed when confronting either of her parent's deaths. The statement given by her neighbour after Akari's mother's death was 'I thought it was a prank at first. She asked me if she was supposed to contact the police when someone commits suicide or to go straight to funeral preparations. Even if it was shock, she didn't seem concerned that she was all alone. Don't know what happened but her dad ain't in the picture.' Furthermore, Akari had excused herself for the night only to enter her room and go online to watch the news separately from her family…

While eating another damn apple as Aizawa said. Apparently the two of them had been watching the woman eat apples for a significant portion of the night.

 _L do you know Shinigami loves apples._

It was ridiculous and if she was Kira than she would have been more discreet. But they were spying. It just felt underwhelming. Furthermore, Akari demonstrating having problems sticking to one task. Her no task twice mentality proven in her activities. Yet as half of her family, she too had some traits possessed by Kira.

Over the next three days no new information was being found. Yet it remained at 5 percent.

L pressed the button on the side of the walkie talkie. "Mogi I have a new job for you. I want you to contact the Kitamura family in person under the guise that you are L."

Meanwhile, L needed to register for an entrance exam that would take place in a few days.

It may lead to no where, but L refused to believe that his lead would end up back to where he started. There was something. He hated losing so he would have to risk himself out in the field if he was to win.

* * *

 **AKARI'S CORNER**

 **I don't particularly have favourites. More that I have groups of things I like and dislike-plus things I'm apathetic towards.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Monsters of Men**

 _Perfectionism: an amalgamation of self-esteem (low or high) and control. For some it is formed in the fear of mistakes, consequences—real or not—are trying to be avoided. For others, it derives from self-deprecation to achieve results better than their current state—results that are unachievable. Antithetical, someone could strive for perfectionism because they presume that anything less is beneath them. Alongside, comes control. Control over oneself. Control over ones' own environment. Control over circumstantial events. Control allows for a certain magnitude certainty which allows some sense of predictability. There is a reason that stability brings comfort. Too bad that perfection doesn't exist—and even if it did, the perfect would still fall as the world around them certainly isn't._

— _Akari_

 **Chapter: Standby no Longer**

The drawback to Death Note was the fact that the psychological thrill came from understanding opposing sides thinking and wondering who would slip up first. Great for a manga where the medium can take the time to emerge the reader into character psyche, but it became much more boring in real life as you could never outright understand someone's emotions or logic, relying on an accumulation of actions and voices to profile someone.

That's why knowing was so important.

Yes, I was a bystander—or at least I wanted to be. I wanted life to unravel before me in a manner of amusement. I couldn't remember everything—far from it—but it was enough to have a basic understanding to their characters. With that knowledge, the real amusement would come from pushing the boundaries, manipulating circumstances to see how they would react. Reactions were always amusing. In this scenario they would be crawling in my shadow.

I was probably a terrible person. I was putting my own amusement over lives. Yet I suddenly felt like a soul was given to this clay corpse of mine. A reason. A purpose. Something to strive for. I didn't believe there was a universal meaning to life. The only meaning there was are the meanings we, as individuals, assign to life. Light assigned God upon himself. L—assigned as an infallible detective. Me? I always wanted to be a hedonist—living intuitively be my desires. It was just too bad that I rarely felt fervent towards…well anything. Perhaps small things for a momentary respite like eating a snack or buying something on whim, but personal long-term goals—dreams—are things I've never had a strong opinion on when concerning myself. Maybe in the grand events of things Kira vs. L too would be yet another short respite, but for now it was something I wished to do.

I had to begin to take steps away form being a bystander if I wished to be the marionette. While being a bystander would be ideal, it didn't fit the requirements of being a marionette. If I were to do this there is no going back. The threads would come to tangle, and not matter how well I think I'm concealing my tracks there is still a chance that it will come back to haunt me. It was my fear. That decisions I made in the past would hinder me in the future.

The clock was ticking.

Instinct or choice.

Fear or audacity.

* * *

Auntie Hinako let the man (I still don't think he's L) into our home. She heated water in the kettle before serving matcha tea and taking the seat to the left of the man. My eyes lingered on the cup before flickering between everyone present.

"How can we help you? My husband is okay?"

"Your husband is fine. He's dropped out of the Kira case." Uncle Koreyoshi hadn't told us but Auntie seemed pleased by the news. Saori smiled, and even Asahi's shoulders lowered.

Auntie turned to me with a scowl as she nudged her head to the suited man. Now that her husband's safety was assured she had remembered my earlier impoliteness to the man. I leaned back in my chair. I wasn't going to apologize. I didn't know who this man was, but I also couldn't leave them alone. It was both caution of keeping track of the man and because Auntie Hinako would surely cause a ruckus if I attempted to leave.

Auntie narrowed her gaze.

I grimace. She wasn't going to leave this alone.

I glanced back to 'L' and looked him over. No matter how many times I looked the man over I still couldn't come to view him as L. It wasn't expectations to the panda-esk character—I imagined him to have an unsettling vibe due to his quirks. It was the fact that this man fit L's profile in no way. I was even more suspicious as the man took a sip of the tea without adding any sugar to it.

This man was 100% not L.

"I'm sorry." Auntie Hinako's elatedness came too soon. "Can you leave now? We don't appreciate lying strangers in our home."

Saori looked over to me puzzled. She looked around as if trying to figure out who to believe. A stranger versus your cousin—thanks for the vote of confidence Saori.

"Akari! Apologize right now."

Asahi leaned back in his chair with rapt attention all too pleased that I was being scolded instead of him.

My eyes never met Auntie's which only agitated her ire. Instead, I paid rapt attention towards the man looking for any kind of response.

"There's no reason for me to apologize."

"You will show your manners, young lady."

The man finally decided to cut in. It was about time. He had been watching us the entire time. "There's no need for her to apologize," he told Auntie. He looked at me with those wide eyes of his—the only trait that bore any similarity to the person he claimed to be. "I'm actually relieved. It's better to question everyone at a time like this."

He acknowledges me? What was his angle with this?

"You saying so doesn't make you any less of a stranger." We were going to be at a standstill. I wasn't going to change my opinion of him and there was no way for him to prove that he was L. He wouldn't be stupid enough to distinguish himself even if it were the real L across from me, not that anyone would be able to tell since the public doesn't know of his name or face. Anyone can claim to be L and there would be no evidence to prove or disprove the notion. At best circumstantial evidence that so few would know that it would almost make it obsolete.

"I assure you that I am L."

Asahi scoffed. His arms crossed and slid down the chair until his butt reached the corner of the wood; the last support he had for his weight. "Yeah sure. 'Cause it's not like people lie." Annoying as he may be, Asahi always was more partial to my side than Auntie Hinako. I couldn't tell you if it's because I paid him more attention or because in his mind he was choosing the better of two evils.

Saori watched on refusing to speak. She bit her lower lip telling me that she was concerned. It could have been because she didn't know what to believe as truth and she never liked to comment on such decisive in front of a crowd. It could have also been because she felt guilty for confessing the other day that she would be happier with Kira continuing killing criminals and now suddenly a man claiming to be L announced himself at their house.

"Asahi! Apologize." I tried to rationalize how Auntie thought she could convince Asahi to apologize when I hadn't but could conclude nothing.

Asahi stood. The scratching of the wooden legs scraping the floor and the thundering echo of him slamming his hand onto the table. "So now you'll tell me what to do!"

"Not now, Asahi. We'll talk later. Right now, we have a _guest_." Auntie Hinako frantically looked between the two guys. This wasn't good for our family image and Auntie didn't like to be embarrasses, even more so in front of house guests. Even more so in front of a detective.

"It's always later."

"You only feel it's that way."

Asahi's fingers curled and clenched his teeth. His neck snapped to his left to look at the imposter at the end of the table where Uncle normally sits. "You're L right?" What? He's changing his opinion already? Asahi pointed a finger at Auntie with his outstretched hand reaching most of the width of the table. "She's Kira. Take her away."

I choked on my saliva. My family was brash on their bad days, but this was getting out of control.

"Asahi, what are you saying?" Saori jumped in with wide eyes defending Auntie. She knew as well as eye that Asahi's emotional state was peaking, and he was speaking nonsense. She spins on her heel immediately bowing deeply to the man. "I apologize for my brother's behaviour."

"Hey Asahi. I bought you that game you wanted. Why don't you go get it?" The only way to diffuse the situation would be to remove Asahi. He looked at me and we stared for a moment. I refused to listen to Auntie who insisted that he would have to stay here. Saori placed a hand gently on his arm but he ripped his arm away and stomped out of the room muttering.

"Mom…" Saori worried for her mother's emotional state. Auntie did just have her son call her a killer. Anger couldn't stop the pain.

Auntie Hinako bowed to the man and kept her head down in shame. "Please excuse my son. I'll take responsibility."

"Perhaps you could tell us why you are here?" Saori hoped to change the tone of conversation.

The man's expression hadn't change. He was quite stoic. "The Kitamura family is under suspect of being Kira."

Logically, this conclusion had been made before his arrival if he somehow was affiliated with L but it was more likely someone taking the opportunity presented to him to stay in the house. For what reason could my dysfunctional family be accused of being Kira. Their lives were too emotional to indulge a long-term fight like Kira could.

Auntie freaked out and sputtered out that her son was lying—that she wasn't Kira. "My husband works with the Police Force. Why us?" Her expressive body language used to reprimand Asahi and I flipped and now her arms stayed close to her body.

"Within the Kitamura family Saori Kitamura and Akari Kujou are most analogous to Kira."

The world froze.

Saori bit her lip hard enough to temporarily indent it. She probably thought this was her punishment for ever thinking anything positive associated to Kira when she knew well that she wasn't Kira. "I-I'm not." In contrast to her mother's booming voice, Saori's voice was meek and trembling.

For me… this was ridiculous. Why me? Better yet this disproved my theory of this man being a random stranger using the situation to his advantage. He called me Kujou. Not Kitamura. Kujou. The lesser theory, no matter how improbable the option was, it was the next most likely option by elimination was. I was still certain he wasn't L. The lack of sugar in his tea cleared my mind from beginning to doubt myself.

This could be used to my advantage.

But was a fine being accused as a killer?

And the man in front of me wasn't my goal. Rather the person behind him.

Now that I thought about it, it meant that the man in front of me was an officer under L. With Uncle Koreyoshi withdrawn from the case along with the FBI who had lost several under L… it meant that the man before them was a Japanese officer. I would be able to find out who he is as soon as I got some time to myself.

"Not that L is the only competent officer but why should we trust you? We still don't who you are. And don't say you are L. You're not L." It was odd. Despite my temporary panic my mind focused back to the issue at hand. It was fascinating how the brain could fumble under pressure (flight) or bring about clarity (fight) in these situations. Saori was experiencing flight as I underwent fight.

"I am L."

I wanted to scream in frustration and pull my hair.

"But may I ask why you think otherwise."

My eyes lingered. Nothing could be gained from this conversation. If he thought, he could better enact L then—no that couldn't be it. If he worked under L, then he knew there was no way for me to know L. A good circumstantial speculation at best. Then was it honest curiosity why I was profusely denying him as L? Or was he searching for something.

I supposed it didn't matter either way, so I could answer him.

"L doesn't go around in public announcing who he is. It ruins the anonymous detective thing he has going on. After that Japanese broadcast he has even more reason to stay hidden." I say. I want to know how much he'll prod.

It took a moment to respond. For a second, I even believed that he wouldn't answer back. "Circumstances have changed, and a direct approach became needed." If that was true, then was the real L confronting Light? That wasn't supposed to happen until the entrance exam. My thought process slowed as I remembered the current date. That was today. Today was the entrance exam. The pause to respond was him calculating whether he could speak the truth.

"That may be true, but you still aren't L. L is someone who spends most of his time indoors behind a screen analyzing data to solve crimes. Your skin is tanned, and your muscles are toned meaning you spend a fair amount of time outdoors and take the effort to keep yourself fit."

"I'm not tanned. It's just my skin toned. Also, I need to be prepared in case of an emergency." He remained stoic.

Nothing I say will prove that he isn't L. My conclusion comes from priori knowledge. Think. Think! If I didn't know L why would I think the man in front of me wasn't L? It was easier said than done. I can't just pretend I don't know knowledge. Sometimes I don't even recognize I'm relying on old knowledge.

But I really wanted the man out of our home. He currently had the advantage. He wouldn't have come here before collecting data on us and I knew nothing about him.

I needed something. Anything.

I smirked. It was insane. I was going to lie and with time the man across from me would probably come to know I lied. It was the only card I currently held. Now let's see if I can play the egomaniac.

"I don't care how many geniuses are behind L. He may be good at covering his tracks, but one doesn't need to locate L to find L. Technology is handy like that. Every system has their own identities." With his flat expression I couldn't tell if he was following the conversation. Was I too vague? Was he calling my bluff? It was stupid to claim to hack into L's database. I need to throw a bone then. Let's hope canon doesn't fail me now. My tone shifted from haughty to boredom. "Hates socks, adores sugar of any kind, and sometimes doesn't bath for days because he's a shut in who views it as a waste of time."

His expression remained the same, but his hand twitched just the slightest.

"I see that my presence has caused a disturbance today. I shall return another day."

Auntie followed him to the door to let him out.

Perhaps I shouldn't have said that last bit, however, it did get him to leave.

I would have to face the consequences.

I needed to prepare other arrangements in the meanwhile.

* * *

L stared at the back of Light's head in the To-Oh exam room.

Light was too put together. Kira was either a student or someone who had a similar schedule to that of a student. Kira's methods, in the beginning, had a distinct egoism. It fell in line with Light who achieved first nationally in a mock exam yet never showed any sign of pride.

Liar.

Light was someone who was able to help the Police Force on occasion from the age of 14 yet considered himself a normal student.

Liar.

He had been looking at magazines which would have been a normal action. It wasn't his father's reaction that had set L off but the fact of his popularity. If it was that sort of thing Light wanted, then with his popularity why would he be looking at magazines instead of hanging out around women. Furthermore, Light hadn't been distracted even once when studying even though he had a stash of magazines a meter away on his shelf.

Liar.

Light was level headed and showed neuroticism and planning. Meticulous yet adaptable. Kira had shown to have planned his actions carefully and would adapt anytime L himself pushed the limits. Kira wouldn't appear to be someone radical. It would be someone calm. Collected. Someone with the ability to change their course of action with minimal time and the ability to read and predict others' movements.

Liar.

In a neutral setting Light would look content. If the situation needed to be anger he would seem angry and so on. One would normally assume so since the natural response would be act the way one feels, however, everyone has quirks. Habits. Light was…a little dramatic. It could be a habit to be a little over the top, but L couldn't help but wonder if that was Light's quirk or if Light is only emulating how he knows he should act.

Liar.

L believes Light to be a liar—to be someone full of lies.

Kira is someone who causes trouble without showing themselves.

Both are monsters.

L would know because he is a monster too.

Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart (Light is surrounded by people yet limit himself contact from all of them); they eat even though they've never experienced hunger (L couldn't help but remember the potato chips and how his sister expressed the oddity of the amount of snacks—during the time of the broadcast too); they study even though they have no interest in academics (Light is a top student yet he spends all his time studying mechanically); they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love (Maybe not a monster in every aspect because Light does not appear to want friendship nor love).

Yes. L wanted to prove that Light was a liar. The game was his if that could be accomplished.

* * *

I enter my room to see Asahi still in here. I wasn't sure if he would go to my room or if he had run off to his own.

I sat on my bed next to him but kept some space between us. "Your head a little clearer now?"

He pulled his legs closer to his chest and rested his chin on his knees.

"I know you're angry but—"

"I'm not angry. I'm frustrated. I'm annoyed. I'm irritated. But I'm not angry."

I will agree that the connotation to each word was different. It didn't matter in Asahi's case. It wasn't the name of the emotion that was destroying him. The problem was that he was letting negative emotions tear him. "After that demonstration I would say wrathful." He opened his mouth to protest but closed it and looked away. "I know it must be hard for you but you acting this way isn't going to get you what you want."

"I don't want anything." Asahi's arms gripped his legs tighter.

"You're fighting back to be acknowledged. By doing so, you're cutting off all communication from yourself." I can still remember the days that he would constantly cut off all my attempts to talk and reason with him. Now he needed to learn to do the same if he ever wanted to pursue the parent-child relationship he yearns for.

"Maybe I'm better off alone." He mumbled into his jeans.

We're all alone in the end. We may talk with each other. Live with each other. Work with each other. But we are ultimately all alone. That is why we communicate to constantly relearn the changes with each other. Why we sympathize and empathize with others to humanize them in an understandable way. No one will ever know another person's pain. No one will ever know another person's joy. That is why we communicate. An attempt to bring us a little closer together.

"But you don't want to be alone."

"So I _would_ be better off alone." His eyes dulled, and his arm muscles slacked, letting his arms fell to his sides. I recognized that look. It was an expression of defeat. I reached out a hand to his but stopped short unsure.

I jumped when Asahi grabbed my hand with the hand I planned on grasping. "You look like an idiot like that." His voice was shallow, and he held my hand harder. Desperate like he needed to know someone was here.

"You can't control how others will act. You can do whatever you want on your own. Whenever another person is involved it takes varying degrees of time, patience, and communication," I said. The golden rule was to treat others how you want to be treated. That logic was full of faults. People aren't the same. What you like or want isn't what another may want or need. Instead to be closer to people you needed to treat them how they wanted to be treated. "I can't tell you if you and Auntie will ever get along, but your worth isn't dependent on other people." It did matter. Other people could ruin your life and make sure you live in misery, but if you didn't have any personal self-worth you were dead before the game of life ever began. "Asahi is reliable and a good chef. Outspoken and self-motivated. You're a good person, but even good people have their problems." His eyes seemed a little less lifeless.

We didn't need a repeat of last year.

I wrapped my arm around his back brining him into a hug. It was odd. When was the last time I hugged someone? I was holding another person, yet I felt hollow. I had another's heat, yet I remain cold.

Asahi cried. It was silent, and his lip quivered, yet his tears fell from his eyes like a storm.

I continued to hold him until he was ready to be let go.

* * *

 **AKARI'S CORNER**

 **Life is filled with contradictions. I'll take a step back and realize that who I am and what I'm fighting are the same things. The things that frustrate me are the things I care fore. My strengths are also my weaknesses.**

 **Also, don't tell Auntie about last year. She doesn't know.**

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S CORNER**

 **I wanted this longer but Fate/Grand Order has a "The Garden of Sinners Collaboration Event" and I have an obsession with SHIKI hence there goes my free time right now ;;**


End file.
